Music?

I am seriously worried about the musical taste-buds of this country. When a song has retarded lyrics, it's like being at Disneyland and sitting in a bathroom stall all day. When a quote unquote "famous" singer is horribly mediocre or has no idea how to really sing, it's like going to Coldstone and licking the garbage can. It seems that few popular or famous singers these days could give a live concert because all of their songs have undergone extensive surgery using technology. "Oh, you don't know how to sing? That's OK. That's why we've got reverb honey!" "What? You have no concept of vibrato? Don't worry sweetie, no one does these days!"

What inspired this post? Justin Bieber. If you don't know who he is, I applaud you. I heard about him through the grapevine and wanted to hear him for myself. I typed his name into YouTube and the first video that came up was called 'Baby'.  I could NOT believe my eyes. Before I even started watching the video I saw that it had 359,686,628 hits. WHAT?!?!?! I had never known one clip to be watched so many times. My expectations were rising quickly. If this video had been watched over 350 million times it had to be pretty good right? Well, let's just say that if it had been good I wouldn't be posting right now.

Fail #1 came as soon as he opened his mouth to sing. I do not...I can't...there are not even words to convey my horrified amazement. He sounds like a 10 year old imitating a bad pop singer.

Fail #2 was his appearance. He looks like a 10 year old dressed up as a wannabe jock. The driving beat does not fit his baby face.

Fail #3 was blazingly apparent as he began singing words. (At first he's only singing "oh".)  The lyrics were absolutely a joke.

You know you love me, I know you care. 

Just shout whenevuh and I'll be there. 

You want my love, you want my heart 

and we will never ever ever be apart. 

Are we an item? Girl quit playing. 

We're just friends, what are you saying. 

Said there's another, look right in my eyes. 

My first love broke my heart for the first time. 

And I was like baby baby baby, 

ohhh, like baby baby baby 

no like baby baby baby 

ohh I thought you'd always be mine mine.

I predict that if those lyrics were turned in as a seventh grade poetry project it would get an F. 

Fail #4 hearkens back to #2. I couldn't take a song seriously that was talking about love when the singer himself probably still thinks girls have cooties. He should've been singing about pokemon cards and dinosaurs and playing tag. 

Disclaimer: I am not attacking Justin Bieber as a person. I'm sure he's a nice kid. I just think it's ridiculous that millions of people are spending money buying his music.

In conclusion: I adore listening to talented musicians that produce beautiful music and when the media picks a poster child who captivates millions and that child doesn't produce good music, it irritates me. I wish people could experience what I experience when I hear a truly exquisite piece of music. It's inspiring; my soul feels fed. Good music enhances my life. I wish the music industry would produce more of it.

Justin Bieber

Note: To fully appreciate this post, I suggest you watch the first little bit of his music video "Baby." I promise it will make you laugh. Especially if you watch it long enough to hear the chorus.